House of Krause

Kids bored?  My crafty niece taught us today how to make robots out of recycled trash. Kept them busy for a while. Good job Jen-Jen, love it!

Comes complete with microphone, purse, and power pack.

It’s like I’ve been in a dream, in a fog. It’s been intense. It’s not lifting hardly at all. When you love some one and you lose them, it’s just something you can’t get over. I know a lot of people think, well it’s your mom, you knew she wasn’t going to live forever, but I thought she was! It’s like I’m going crazy. I think, well I’ll go on a trip and I’ll get a sign, I’ll find her. I just want to know she is O.k. I have always had faith but I have to admit, I’m shaken. I look to the sea, I look to the sky, to the mountains, I can’t find her. I’m heart broken!

I suppose the fog must be lifting a little. Lately I’ve been looking around and realizing just how quickly time is passing. I want it to just slow down, stay on my side for a little while. My girl, she’s growing like a weed…

Pres is just on the brink of a whole lot of things. Nearly pre-teen,  what happened? He’s discovering lot’s about life right now.

Soon little crabs and star fish won’t be in his beach priorities.

And when the heck did the dog learn to drive the RV?

Campground squirrels are now using shovels, Where have I been?

I always end up full circle.

If you want to get in the water sometimes you might have to climb through this…

If you want to learn how to surf you might look like this…

I can’t miss these moments, I know she wouldn’t want me to…

Hope your summer is rolling in long waves, and you are surrounded by the people who bring you the sunshine!

Cupcakes, door-to-door. Lemonade stand. Once the kids started making money they were hooked.

I could not get them to come in all day. I think they ended up with nearly fifty dollars. At fifty cents a glass, that’s a lot of lemonade.

So thankful for my freedom. Grateful to live in this country.

These faces always make me smile!

I never allow comments on Luke’s You-Tube videos.  In the past I have received some of the most random and  occasionally just down right rude comments. I try to guard my son against things like that. Of course he didn’t decide to show the world his struggles with Apraxia, I did. I have second guessed my decision several times but in the end I like to think I am raising children who want to make a difference in the world.  I like to think if Luke ever questioned me about it, I could say, “You gave people hope, you showed other families what is possible!” And I like to think that would settle his thoughts. I hope I’m right.

Yesterday I was doing some random searching on Apraxia videos. I haven’t checked in on my posted videos in a long time. I was so surprised to see Luke’s very first therapy video has received over 12,000 hits. I think people are drawn to it because he looks so young. He WAS young, just barley two. A lot of people sent me responses wondering how he could even begin therapy at such a young age.  I ran across another little guy, Owen! Owen’s mom posted a video of Owen at 33 months, after six months of taking fish oil. I remember Owen. This was the video I found and watched nearly two years ago when I was searching for answers myself! This little guy is so cute. It was wonderful to see him talking and answering questions independently.  I scrolled down and started reading the comments. I chuckled as I read this one,

“Are you sure he has verbal apraxia? Cause he not even 3, and he bright!! (and really cute too.”

I loved Owen’s moms quick response,

“Yes, I am sure. He was diagnosed by a speech clinician. Many children with verbal apraxia are very bright and very cute ;-)”

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That just reminded me and reassured me of what a great idea it is to keep You-Tube comments in the off position….

CUTE? YES!

After a day at the beach Luke says, “I want to jump in a sleeping bag and go swimming!” I said, “Luke, that doesn’t sound like such a good idea.” He says, ” Yes it is, that way sharks can’t get me!”

CLEVER? For sure!

Luke took a good wiff of his hot sweaty summer time feet and exclaimed, “peee-you,  WINKY WEET!” Yes, we are still working on “F” and “S”. It seems like we have been working on “S” forever. Luke is having a tricky time with the sounds that require that forced air. It’s so funny now that he is getting older, he laughs at me when I say, “Luke try sss-stinky fff-feet. ” He just says, “No, I have WINKY WEET!” and chuckles. He  knows what he says sounds different than what I am saying.

It has been such a long time since I have posted any videos of little man. I have been stuck in the deepest valley of my life. I realized the last video of Luke was almost a year ago August when I posted my little movie (time flies). Since that time Luke has continued to make great progress. It reminds me of the tortoise and the hare story. We just keep moving at a slow pace but it doesn’t matter as long as we just keep MOVING!

I have been so blessed to continue to take Luke to speech therapy twice a week for almost two years now. I will forever be grateful to Luke’s SLP Megan. She is an amazing person who has invested so much time and effort into helping my son find his voice.

I remember when we received the diagnoses of severe childhood Apraxia of speech. It was a devastating blow. I remember reading and hearing the words, YOUR CHILD MAY NEVER SPEAK. I was just like whoa, what if he never learns to talk , what will that mean to him and to all of us. What does having a voice mean?  A voice means so many things. Something that is taken for granted everyday by most of us. It means more than just being able to speak, it’s Christmas carols, telling a secret, making a new friend, calling your dog, saying I love you, telling a joke, speaking your mind, saying wedding vows.

Having a voice=FREEDOM!

It means singing a song to your mama, just the same way she remembers singing to her mom.

Keep the faith friends.

Love,

Jen

The sun shine has brought a show of beautiful flowers.  When your child has Apraxia, every talking opportunity is taken. The House of Krause has adopted a flower, the Snap Dragon aka the talking flower. If you come across a snap dragon let little fingers have a pick, squeeze the sides of the bloom and you have an instant talking flower. Luke is adorable when he makes up conversations among flowers. You never know what flowers might say to each other!

It was a beautiful day! My brother finally said ‘ I do’ to a very special person.

Just a couple quick pictures…..

Love you, Congratulations John and Trish!

My Dad with the bride and groom

Paul and the kids

Lily and her cousin Jenna

Paul and I

Albert and Josh

and the beautiful flower girl

Janeva

Haven’t been blogging much. I’m to busy ripping my house up from one end to the other. Change seems to be my solution for the moment. I am having a hard time. My mom has been gone now for two months (feels like forever). I miss her desperately. I doubt I’ve even scratched the surface on my emotions. Some how I still think she’s just gone on a trip and any day she’s going to come walking right back in the door… big curly blonde hair, huge smile, some funky colorful outfit, and say, come on lovey let’s run up to the store! See here I go again. Let’s just get back to the “ripping my house apart.” Any how, I have decided that it is time for some organization. Going through all of my mother’s things has been exhausting. My dad could not find anything, she kept EVERYTHING! Bless her heart, she could not throw a single card away. I found a bag that had 50 paper slips from fortune cookies in it. Pack rat, YES! I have to admit, I am my mother’s daughter. I refuse to ever leave my husband or kids in such a state. It’s amazing the things one might find when they begin to organize and throw out.

I was fortunate enough to nurse all of my children. Some for a short time, some for a loooong time. When Luke was born the new big thing was Hooter Hiders. Lovely little covers that you strapped around your neck and provided privacy while you were nursing your child.  My Hooter Hider was my favorite accessory. I bought a really cool brown one, retro print, it looked like a blanket. So much so that my brother-in-law thought it was a blanket. One time I was feeding Luke and he came right on over to see the new baby. He quickly came right in to my personal space.  My brother-in-law lifted up the corner of the hooter hider and was gazing at my boobs the baby before I could even react. He’s going, awe, he’s so cute. so tiny. He was totally oblivious. I just thought, well if he’s not afraid to check out a nursing baby then o.k, braver man than most. Right then my sister walks up behind him and screams, Jeff, she’s nursing him!!!! Oh my gosh, you’ve never seen a man throw the cover and jump back ten feet so fast in your life. It was so funny. He was so embarrassed. Guess I should have said something.  We still laugh about that one. Back to the point of this whole thing. When Luke was about one I decided I liked my nursing covers so much that I would go into business and come up with my own line. Not having a clue what I was doing, I did my best. Found a super hip fabric company. Had a great seamstress in L.A come up with a design and had them sewn. Made my logo, did it all up. Well soon after that everything started happening with Luke, so my little nursing cover business was pushed to the side, as were so many things in our life. Bottom line… The House of Krause has hundreds of really cool nursing covers! In the mist of my organizing, I came across some sweet covers that I made the mistake of having sewn, not realizing there was a tiny flaw in the fabric. An expensive lesson  learned- always check your material before you have them cut and sewn!

I would love to ship you out a FREE nursing cover (while supplies last). These particular ones are girly. Chocolate brown with pink swirls. They are funky too (didn’t I say I was my mother’s daughter). They are trimmed with pink pom pom. These covers are for mom’s, not to be used as baby blankets, or toys, the pom pom trim would not be a good idea for little one to chew on!

If you would like me to ship you one please send me your address or P.O Box to roselinks@yahoo.com. (within U.S please). I will ship them out later on in the week. If you or some one you know is a nursing mom you have to have one.

Time to clean house people!

Want to see all my prints and patterns visit www.thehungrybaby.com

Meet two new members in the house of Krause. Two sweet budgies. So funny their personalities are very different. Frances, she’s the blue one, sweet, quiet, content.

Robert (aka Bob) is the green guy. A wild child, brave, crazy, and curious! How do I know they are boy and girl? Male parakeets have blue or purplish rims at the top of their beaks. Funny, females have pink or tan at the top of theirs. If you notice we got a boy and a girl in hopes of baby birds. We’ll see if we got it right. They seem to really like each other so far.

Lily celebrated her 8th birthday. We surprised her with two birds. She was so excited. She kept hugging me saying, thank you, I can’t believe you did this! She is still warming up to them. I think she’s afraid they are going to nip her and everyone squeals when they fly around the room. There’s no telling where they’ll land. Maybe on your head.

They’re super fun pets for the kids. Some one else is the house is completely taken by them…

No fear, not afraid at all to put them on his shoulder or his head. Gives them kisses all the time. They tickle his cheek.

I am a firm believer in the positive effect animals have with children. I’m also taken by them. Two simple little birds, but they are something beautiful and something different. I love to hear them tweet in the morning. Reminds me that life is still sweet!

Every living thing on this planet comes from God with a purpose. I think it’s amazing, Luke is trying all day to talk to the birds. I never thought of it before. I may have considered birds sooner. Children feel no pressure from animals. There is no expectations. The birds can’t talk, Luke thinks he can teach them. How wonderful, suddenly he has the power to help. He sits by the cage and mimics the sounds they make. This is great therapy!

Lily is enjoying being 8 and the new life that consumes her room.

Happy Birthday Lily!

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I know I’ve mentioned it before, but did you know there are dogs that are specifically trained for children with Apraxia. Service dogs are trained for all kinds of special needs. It warms my heart to see what amazing things animals can do for people.

Paws for Ability

One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. That’s what I keep telling myself.  I really am trying. Saying you’ll go on is one thing, learning how to do it is another. I miss her every minute, every second of the day. They say things will get easier, I’m not sure how that works. The longer she’s gone the more I miss her. I’m surprised I’ve found my way to the blog. I’ve sat down so many times and tried to write. I sit, then walk away.  I just can’t.

My little Luke has taken the loss of his Nana the hardest. I suppose it’s because he was the one who spent the most time with her and was probably the closest to her. We would visit her morning, noon, and night while she was sick. I know I have posted many times about our trips to speech therapy. She was such a supporter of his hard work at speech. She always told him he would be a preacher boy someday and she would sit in the front row! Luke looks for her in the clouds and tries to see her hanging on the moon at night.  It is very difficult to explain heaven and eternity to a little boy whose three. He has been so compassionate. He’s held my face day after day and told me it would be o.k, I’ll see her again one day in heaven. But some how as time goes by and she doesn’t come back, he’s bitter. There was nights when he cried all night long. Now he says, heavens mean… Gods mean…He took my Nana. I’ve learned children certainly go though grief just like adults. Sadness, anger, denial, all of it! Breaks my heart when he looks at me and says, here I go again, I’m gonna cry now. It’s been really hard.

God is the healer of broken hearts and I have learned many lessons from my mother. I am so amazed that even in her death she still continues to teach me every day. Oh how life has changed in such profound ways. All those little sayings you hear all your life suddenly apply like never before.  Life is precious… Life is short, fragile, so fleeting… Take time to smell the roses… Certain things stand out to me. The things I remember and replay my mind all the time are times when I was very young. Moments when I was just a little girl, laying my head on her chest listening to heart beat, hearing her voice talking. Things that as a mother you may not think your kids will remember about you by.  No fancy dinners, no big birthday presents, no over the top Christmases, just her. Just the lull of her voice and the warmth of her heart. That’s what I think of.  Though there are many feelings I am looking forward to someday leaving in the past, I hope many feelings will always stay with me. I am no longer rushing for ANYTHING! I wonder all the time, what I was ever rushing to before. Life goes fast, children grow up too quickly.  Now I laugh, where was I going? Why was I ever in a hurry? Life has become right here, right now. Moments have become my treasures, my heaven on earth.  I walk around at my mothers cemetery and it hits me again , life is fleeting. I read the head stones and realize, that one was only five, that one two, another sixteen, one gone at twenty. Each day is precious for all of us.

Anyhow, I am missing sharing here on the blog and connecting with you! Despite heart break, Luke continues to make progress. It has been hard for him to sit still and focus at therapy. He figures out ways to be silly and tries to find ways to avoid things that are difficult.  I praise his awesome SLP for helping him and always thinking outside the box. Megan plans things out so he can do activities that allow him to get out of his seat. Last week she hid cards all over the room and Luke had to find them. He thought this was so fun. When he found the cards he would bring them over to her, after he practiced his words, he got to look for more. They have also had fun playing minute golf and Elefun.  He recently retested with the Kaufman Speech Praxis test. It was wonderful to just sit back and listen to him zip through sounds with such ease. We were able to video, so I hope to share it with you soon. Luke keeps us all laughing. He has a wonderful sense of humor. I am so grateful he can share what’s on his mind now. I’m going to sign off for now. The new picture in the top frame is my three loves signing “Jesus love me!” It’s a little hard to see. Lily is making the sign for “Jesus”, which is finger pointing to the middle of the palm. This represents the nails in Jesus hands. My Pres in the middle is the “LOVE”. Then there’s little Luke, “ME”. Here, I’ll put the full picture in so you can see it.

Lot’s of Love-Jen