Time To Shine My Little Star!
So I talked to this person, called that person. Met with this SLP and that one. Looked at this program, then went back to that program. Made a ton of phone calls. Held people off. Worried, questioned, debated in my mind. Thought I had it all figured out, only to wake up and change my mind again. Called more people. Talked to friends. Worried some more. Cried. Thought this is all happening to soon. Got angry because after all it’s just not fair. I wanted Luke to go the same school route my other children went. Finally came to the conclusion, I HAVE TO LET HIM GO, he needs all the help he can get! So I signed my name on the line (IEP) and Luke is off to preschool.
Thoughts were racing through my mind. What if no one understands him? What if he can’t express himself when he is upset and scared? Did I make the right choice? Will he be able to come home and tell me about the things he did while he was gone?
We found a small Thomas back pack. I filled it with a snack and hid Mickey Mouse inside. I told Luke Mickey was going to sneak into school with him so he could learn too! We talked about lots of things. Daddy managed to get the morning off from his new job and off we went. We got to walk him into class and stay for a few minutes, then it was time to leave. Luke was upset. He cried a little bit. I held strong because I knew in my heart this is the best thing for him.
I returned a few hours later to see my little star leading the line with a fireman’s hat on. He peaked around his teacher and saw me standing there. He waved and his face lit up. He said bye to his teacher and new friends. Told the teacher he would be back. Then he proceeded to talk non-stop for the next two hours. In his own way he told me about everything that happened. Fireman came to school, showed kids his clothes, had cheese and crackers and apple juice, played on the toys, went pee-pee in a little toilet, made crafts. My heart was so full. I have never seen him more animated and excited (and so talkative!). He wanted to get his brother and sister right away so he could tell them about his day. Once again I sit here amazed. Luke is not limited by his speech problems. This is who he is and he is not afraid. I’m looking at the mountains, he sees little hills.
You shine like a star my little friend. You bless my life in ways you’ll never understand. You show me we are only limited by ourselves. You are AMAZING!
November 9th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Oh Jen, that is WONDERFUL!!!! I am so glad to hear that Luke had such a wonderful first day at pre-school and that he is so EXCITED about it
You must be such a proud Mommy. Sometimes it is hard to remember that we can’t always be there for them, and that they really need to learn how to stand on their own two feet. This is the hand that our boys have been dealt, and you know what, they don’t know any different! We do, so it seems so much more difficult to us than it does to them.
So happy for you guys! And so nice to hear that Paul could go too, I know you were sad that he might not be there for such a big milestone for Luke.
Go Luke! <3
November 9th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
How exciting!! I’m so happy that he had such a great first day!
That’s been a decision that’s been weighing on mind very heavily as well (planning on homeschooling, but since we’re still not really sure what all is going on, maybe preschool would be best. Although he wouldn’t be able to start until next fall (’10), so a moot point at the moment).
Anyways, LOVE that photo of him and Daddy. <3
November 9th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Jen, This has been a big day! Last night when Luke called and I said you are going to school tomorrow, you are a big boy he said I am a big boy. Today he was a brave big boy! So were you and Paul! What beautiful pictures. My Grandmother (Nannie) told me when Paul was born “When you have children you love them totally, but when you have Grandchildren your heart feels you couldn’t love anymore, but when you have Great Grandchildren your heart bursts from all the love you feel.” Today I am at the second stage and my heart couldn’t love anymore than now. I am looking forward to stage three! I am so proud of you,Paul,Preston and Lily. Love, Grandma
November 11th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Jen,
I am so very proud of you! I struggled with that decision back in September with brooklyn. I am proud that you were able to realize that this is the right thing for him. It’s hard as a parent, and especially as a parent of a special angel. Our natural instincts as moms is to protect. Brooklyn has done amazingly well, and Luke will too. Stay strong
November 11th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Thanks everyone for your support! It’s so hard. You do want to shelter your little one from anything that might be painful. But that is not reality. I considered just doing a home school preschool program, but it would have nothing like the experience he is going to receive in this program. Speech therapy and daily sensory integration. Not to mention all the wonderful daily planned activities and great opportunity for great socialization. It was not at all realistic for me to think I could give him everything he needed. But I had to just come to grips with that. Just like pretty much everything else so far on this journey.
Thanks you guys!!! Love, Jen
November 18th, 2009 at 12:39 am
WOW Luke -
You are such an awesome guy!!!! And soooo special - the fireman picked YOU to wear his hat. And you took Mickey with you because you are like a teacher for Mickey. You will show him what preschool is all about. WE ARE VERY PROUD OF YOU! We can’t wait to hear all about your preschool adventures.
Love You Always, Aunt Paula and Uncle Bob