Our Story of Hope
One year ago today was Luke’s first trip to speech therapy. I remember crying painful tears all the way home. So many thoughts went through my head. How would our family get through this? How would I make this drive? Will my son ever talk? What went wrong this time around? If only I had been more assertive at Luke’s birth. I told everyone I didn’t blame myself, but I did. Did I take for granted my pregnancy? What if he never talks? Will Luke use sign language for the rest of his life? Why did this happen? Was God mad at me? Is this for all those times I turned my back and did what ever I wanted? How does the story end? How does the story end? How does the story end?
Today I am celebrating my birthday with tears in my eyes, but they are not stinging. They come with joy. Luke has come a very long way in the past year but it is so much more than that. There are things in life you can never explain unless you walk through it. There are lessons God allows us to experience. I feel privileged. Yes, privileged that God has put this in my lap. It has molded me and refined me. I see things very differently today than I did a year ago. God is not a punisher, He is a deliverer! He does not turn His back on us, He holds us! He is not a destroyer, He sustains, refines, and replenishes us! He whispers, I love you Jen no matter what.
Do I know how the story ends? No. Do I care? Not really. Do I know how well my son will ever speak? No but God has a perfect plan. Have I let go of trying to be in control? Yes, because I know I never will be. Have I learned how to Love? Yes, because He first loved me. Have I learned how to live for today? Yes, tomorrow may never come.
All I wanted for my birthday was to finish this project I’ve been working on. And guess what? I did it. I hope this will help other parents searching for answers. Apraxia was a word I had never heard of in my life.
Tags: Apraxia of speech Video, CAS, Childhood Apraxia of Speech, Story of Childhood Apraxia of Speech
August 22nd, 2009 at 4:38 am
Jen, I am SOOO PROUD OF YOU! That turned out fantastic
Your story is so similar to ours. I think you have done a beautiful job portraying the trials of apraxia, but also the wonderful successes you have achieved and all that is possible. This will give hope to parents who are new to the diagnosis. I think we all could have used something like this when we first were introduced to this new world.
The sweetest thing happened while I was watching this. Baeden was playing with his trains behind me while I watched this. The very instant the footage of Luke and Megan came on, Baeden stopped dead in his tracks and was glued to the screen. He was watching intently as Luke practiced the same words that he does! It was a very touching moment, as our son’s connected without ever even meeting each other
So glad you made this.
August 22nd, 2009 at 5:16 am
Your devotion and courage as a Mother, and Luke’s spirit and patience give me hope. Thank you for sharing your journey. It is truly a beacon of light. I live in a small city and you are my one link to knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.
August 22nd, 2009 at 9:03 am
Jen, Happy birthday!!( Nathan and I had our birthdays this week also 17 & 18)Your video is fabulous!!!!! Thank you so much for doing this. I almost went the the Kaufmann workshop this past March. She came to Salt Lake City where we live for the apraxia workshop but I had a schedule conflict. The ST that will work with Nathan this fall through Spec.Ed. went to it and she has worked with apraxic children in the past.
It is incredible and inspiring to see Luke and how hard he works!! He is such a trooper and you are doing the absolute best for him. Thank you for sharing this!
All best,
Jenny
August 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 am
Dearest Jen-
WOW! Not only have you become a professional writer, but now you are a movie producer.! Happy Birthday and Congratulations- dream # 1 is reality. You keep going girl. God has big plans for you. Remember- ” If there were no dreams, how could there be dreamers. If the mountain’s too high, then I’ll tear it down. If the mountain’s too wide, I’ll just go around…”
We continue to be sooooo proud of you.
LOVE Aunt Paula and Uncle Bob
August 22nd, 2009 at 9:22 am
Jen, I had no idea the whole story. Thank you for sharing that…after wiping the tears from my eyes I had to comment. Luke is a very special boy and you are an AMAZING mom. God is using you my friend! Stay strong and hold on to him. It is so neat how Preston and Lily help out and learn sign too. The Krause family is amazing! We love you guys!
Many Blessings!!!!~Bridget
OH, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
August 22nd, 2009 at 9:45 am
Jennifer, You know that I am crying and not with sorrow but with much joy as I see the growth in Luke but more so in you. I am amazed at the things you are doing and sharing them with the world. God has given you so many gifts and your using them. One day you will look back on this journey and be awestruck with the love God has poured over you.
I remember one year ago that you did have a lot of anger and to see how you have allowed God to take control and to see you learn to trust Him each and every day and to realize that He has a plan for all of us. Luke is a dear sweet boy and one day I’m positive that he will be speaking to many people in a clear sweet voice.(you never know maybe even a preacher boy)
I love you a lot and yesterday was a day to remember Happy Birthday!
Dance while you have the chance
God Bless you and all the family
Love Mom
August 22nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Jen, My heart is so full of love and respect for you and your strength. Luke is learning to talk because all of you are working together. Preston and Lily are so wonderful teaching him. When we are in the car we all say what we see and he repeats each word. A new day brings a new word! You have found your calling, keep writing. Happy Birthday, I am so proud to call you my daughter in law.
Love,
Connie AKA Grandma
August 22nd, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Thank you everyone for your encouraging comments.Nice to meet you Laura, hang in there! And Happy belated birthday to you also Jenny and Nathan. This is something that means a whole lot to me. When it was all finished, I watched the whole thing and really realized just how far we’ve come. You just don’t see it until you look back. Wow! Prayers for all my other Apraxia families out there- Love Always, Jen
August 23rd, 2009 at 6:34 am
Wow, I don’t even know what to say. That was absolutely beautiful. I was hoping you would post an updated ST video of Luke, so I’m so glad you included one in this video. Listening to him say 2 words like that, brought tears to my eyes. I know I hardly know you and Luke, but watching his progress through your blog is so inspiring.
((HUGS) and Happy Birthday!
August 23rd, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Love it! Love you Luke!!!!!!!!!
August 28th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Jen,
What a wonderful story. Your love and devotion to Luke Shine through and speak volumes. God has worked in amazing ways within your life. I am priviledged to share in your story and in your life with your family.
Laura